Forgive me for that "womp-womp" fest, sometimes I tend to forget the good things when I am wallowing in self pity :)
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Hmmm. It's the day before my last final and I just got donw walking in circles through HB central park, leaving my books, pens, phone, and laptop in the library to get stolen. They were unforunately untouched when I returned.
I am feeling a little unmotivated like I do everytime I get a good test grade back.
Nothing like fear of failure to motivate you. Not doing a good job, not making yourself or others proud, but not failing.
Someone said I am socially isolated today. It's true. My only social contact is running into people at the library. And I'm getting used to it. I am usually too lazy to return the few phone calls I get much less make new ones of my own accord.
Ironic since I finally got a nice phone, my brother's one year old Treo.
The things I am looking forward to are so stupid in the scheme of things, but so much better than sitting in front of a book and worrying. Food, for instance. Or not having back spasms. Or seeing someone I care about that cares about me and actually shows it.
The band is on hiatus, the friends I usually see are not around, the friends I need to see are impossibly far away, or so it seems. Got a call from an old college friend the other day, it was nice to hear her voice but I didn't call her back. I also talked to three ex-girlfriends in the past 24 hours, one of which is angry at me and I am having a hard time caring, one of which was down and needed to talk, and one of which actually used my name and made eye contact, two things I never expected from her, although the interaction lasted not quite as long as this sentence.
I am feeling a little unmotivated like I do everytime I get a good test grade back.
Nothing like fear of failure to motivate you. Not doing a good job, not making yourself or others proud, but not failing.
Someone said I am socially isolated today. It's true. My only social contact is running into people at the library. And I'm getting used to it. I am usually too lazy to return the few phone calls I get much less make new ones of my own accord.
Ironic since I finally got a nice phone, my brother's one year old Treo.
The things I am looking forward to are so stupid in the scheme of things, but so much better than sitting in front of a book and worrying. Food, for instance. Or not having back spasms. Or seeing someone I care about that cares about me and actually shows it.
The band is on hiatus, the friends I usually see are not around, the friends I need to see are impossibly far away, or so it seems. Got a call from an old college friend the other day, it was nice to hear her voice but I didn't call her back. I also talked to three ex-girlfriends in the past 24 hours, one of which is angry at me and I am having a hard time caring, one of which was down and needed to talk, and one of which actually used my name and made eye contact, two things I never expected from her, although the interaction lasted not quite as long as this sentence.
Friday, April 21, 2006
God Damn I am getting old. It wasn't when my widow's peak started turning into a bona fide receding hairline, or when no one from college even recognizes me, or when I noticed all the not-so-fine lines in my ever-growing forehead, or not even the fact that my limbs are getting skinnier as my trunk gets fatter (I DON'T have a moon face, for all those diagnosing me with Cushing's). It was today in the library when my friend said I am losing my buccal fat pad. That means my face is wasting. What the fuck?
I get up at 7:00, eat lunch before noon, sit on my ass all day, go for walks, drink wine, and get to bed before midnight. I drive a Honda fucking Accord and I don't believe there's a cure for cancer. I can't handle hardcore punk rock anymore, I'd rather sit back and chill to Ben Harper. I even started liking Bon Jovi. I am old, and the prime of my life, at least physically, has passed. How depressing.
Anyway, it's been a while and YOU obviously have jack shit to do right now, so read on.
It's 4/22, I have 2 exams and just over a week left in my second year of med school. I am very nearly, just about almost on the verge of....being HALF a doctor. Damn it's been a long road, and the most grueling is yet to come. On the bright side, I am kicking ass in class, winning stupid nerdy academic awards, and possibly might be third year class president with RossMoss (my friend and lead and rhythm bass player for the Fever). The funny part is that due to the pass/not pass grading system, my GPA... 0.00. Fuck Yeah.
I now have only to hunker down an relearn/solidify two years/120+ units/hundreds of hours of med school in a month an a week or two. Hmm.
In other news... Nothing. Sort of kind of dating a girl. A super smart hot funny filipina girl from way back when. I am really suprised she hasn't just said "Hey fuck you asshole who never has time to hang out with me and is always tired and in a bad mood." Really, that's what I deserve. But it's all good.
SO my attempt to leave the 'vine has failed and I think I am staying in vdc next year for money, convenience, and health sake. Expensive to move into a place I have no time to look for and be further from the ARC which keeps me sane and not too obese. Whatever, I'll not be home too often. Plus, car music has been replaced with super-high-yield audio lectures on pharmacology! Hooray.
Ran into Lorraine, Luis' cousin, again at the Block today. Random as hell. I miss Los Sanchez. THe family and the food joint.
Hmm, what else is going on? Not much. Been working with a pulmonologist, seeing lots of crazy old dying vegetable-type patients. Once you put your stethoscope on the chest of a 60 year old with COPD on a ventilator in a long-term acute care facility, you'll never fucking forget RHONCHI (breath sound). Good guy, this doctor.
Um, I am out of boring things to talk about.
If you are reading this, I want to see you between 6/15 and 6/26. That's my summer break. I love my friends, even though it may not seem that way.
I get up at 7:00, eat lunch before noon, sit on my ass all day, go for walks, drink wine, and get to bed before midnight. I drive a Honda fucking Accord and I don't believe there's a cure for cancer. I can't handle hardcore punk rock anymore, I'd rather sit back and chill to Ben Harper. I even started liking Bon Jovi. I am old, and the prime of my life, at least physically, has passed. How depressing.
Anyway, it's been a while and YOU obviously have jack shit to do right now, so read on.
It's 4/22, I have 2 exams and just over a week left in my second year of med school. I am very nearly, just about almost on the verge of....being HALF a doctor. Damn it's been a long road, and the most grueling is yet to come. On the bright side, I am kicking ass in class, winning stupid nerdy academic awards, and possibly might be third year class president with RossMoss (my friend and lead and rhythm bass player for the Fever). The funny part is that due to the pass/not pass grading system, my GPA... 0.00. Fuck Yeah.
I now have only to hunker down an relearn/solidify two years/120+ units/hundreds of hours of med school in a month an a week or two. Hmm.
In other news... Nothing. Sort of kind of dating a girl. A super smart hot funny filipina girl from way back when. I am really suprised she hasn't just said "Hey fuck you asshole who never has time to hang out with me and is always tired and in a bad mood." Really, that's what I deserve. But it's all good.
SO my attempt to leave the 'vine has failed and I think I am staying in vdc next year for money, convenience, and health sake. Expensive to move into a place I have no time to look for and be further from the ARC which keeps me sane and not too obese. Whatever, I'll not be home too often. Plus, car music has been replaced with super-high-yield audio lectures on pharmacology! Hooray.
Ran into Lorraine, Luis' cousin, again at the Block today. Random as hell. I miss Los Sanchez. THe family and the food joint.
Hmm, what else is going on? Not much. Been working with a pulmonologist, seeing lots of crazy old dying vegetable-type patients. Once you put your stethoscope on the chest of a 60 year old with COPD on a ventilator in a long-term acute care facility, you'll never fucking forget RHONCHI (breath sound). Good guy, this doctor.
Um, I am out of boring things to talk about.
If you are reading this, I want to see you between 6/15 and 6/26. That's my summer break. I love my friends, even though it may not seem that way.
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
My digital memory is lapsing, I never blog anymore. Memories are formed from sample test questions and interesting patients, not fun experiences. I did, however, revisit Ensenada, Abby and I went for 2 days, drank, ate, hiked, boated, avoided chiclets/arrest, and had a great time. Then I had a mini-breakdown and have been working/studying my ass off through "spring break" in anticipation of both my Injury Prevention Fair (http://www.ucihealth.com) which the entire hospital is anticipating and I am organizing, and the national standardized Path exam, the best predictor of Step 1 board scores.
Other than that, nothing. The Fever is on hiatus, saw Gary/Robbie/Wallass and the boys for a while last weekend at Gary's birthday, then spent the day with Danielle (youngest niece) at the Block for her birthday.
4 more weeks and I am a THIRD YEAR med student, unless you start third year from boards, then it's June 15. I'll start from the end of classes...
Peace.
Other than that, nothing. The Fever is on hiatus, saw Gary/Robbie/Wallass and the boys for a while last weekend at Gary's birthday, then spent the day with Danielle (youngest niece) at the Block for her birthday.
4 more weeks and I am a THIRD YEAR med student, unless you start third year from boards, then it's June 15. I'll start from the end of classes...
Peace.
